Cullens Exposed: Twilight Style
by smileyfriees
Summary: What would happen if the Cullens went to see Twilight the movie and were recongnized? This is our take on that. All Cullens Jake Post Breaking Dawn R/R
1. Alice Goes Nuts

**This is our take on how the Cullens would take the news of their exposed secret life.... R/R :]**

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Alice POV

Forks, Washington

Present

So, I was sitting there on the couch in Jazz's lap. He wasn't really paying attention to the television, but I was. So there I was when this commercial came on....

_There was a flash of a pair of intense eyes. Then it went to a girl with long, wavy brown hair. She was like… "Your skin is pale white and ice cold. They were in a car and their hands touched and they both pulled away really fast. Then he's like leaning over her in a weird stalkerish way and goes, "Say it." And she goes "Vampire." Oh my god, this could not be happening… "Are you afraid?" And she says, "No." This is just like Bella and Edward… Then a monotone voice comes on as they show the production house and 'Edward' at some stupid looking high school getting weird looks. "For centuries they have lived peacefully among us." Then 'Bella' comes on, "I dream about being with you forever." How did they know what her dress looked like at prom!?!?!?!? And did they have like a camera in her frickin' room? Monotone dude, "But some still hunger for our blood." OMJ THAT LOOKS LIKE JAMES, VICTORIA, AND LAURENT!!!! 'Laurent' says, "He's absolutely lethal." Monotone guy comes on again as 'Edward' and 'Bella' ran for it, "Now to save what he desires most…" Okay this was creepy…_

"OMJ! OMJ! **(A/N: Sorry to all you Jonas lovers, but this stands for Oh My Jasper)**" I cried, this was impossible, I mean no one knew about us, how could there be a movie about us!?!?

"What is it Alice?" Bella said walking into the room while carrying Renesseme.

"BELLA!!! THERE'S A MOVIE ALL ABOUT YOU!!!" I said spaztasically.

"WHAT!?!?" Bella screamed, she was so darn self-conscious, I didn't even know why, I mean she was an awesome vampire with everything in the world.

I sighed and dragged her to the couch. "Be right back," I sang as I ran upstairs and retrieved my laptop. I quickly went to the Google search engine and typed in 'Twilight.' What do you know, a little box popped up showing a trailer. I opened it and played it.

"ISN'T THIS AWESOME!?!?" I said loudly right in Bella's ear.

"OMG! OMG! This is so damn awesome Alice!!! I mean look!! Well, psh! She barely looks like the human me at all!! I was much prettier!!" **(A/N: no offense to Kristen Stewart intended, Bella just thinks that she is a lot prettier than her.)**

"Yeah, yeah, totally....." I said quietly.

She gasped. "Gosh Alice! You're so insensitive sometimes! I'm going to Edward!" she stomped out of the house dramatically.

Jazz sat on the couch still staring into space. I bet he didn't even just hear or see any of that.

"JAZZZ!!!!" I screamed in his face. He blinked and shook his head.

"Hmmm," he began, "umm Alice, why Bella is so irritated, and why are you so excited?" he asked confused and dazed.

"OMJ! OMJ! JAZZ!!! THERE'S A MOVIE ON US!!!" I screamed again.

"Alice, honey, calm down, calm." he cautioned me. I felt the waves of calm crash into me and I let it in.

"Okay, now what were you saying about a movie on us?" Jazz asked me.

"See for yourself," I said as I placed the laptop in front of him and let the trailer play again. His eyes widened as the trailer played out in front of him.

"Oh my God! Does Carlisle know about this!?" he asked as I felt the waves of worry radiating from him.

"Umm, noooo." I said in a sweet sugar coated voice.

"Alice....." he began.

"Jazz!! Come on!! I want to plan an outing for the family!! This will be perfect!!" I said enthusiastically.

"Fine, you can buy the tickets and plan it all, I don't know who all will come with you, but have fun with that.

Edward's Point of View

Present

So there I was composing again. I sat at my piano, and began to play. This song was inspired by Bella's song, it was for her daughter, she was my daughter as well. I stroked my hands across the ancient grand piano. As my wife burst through the door. She looked clearly angry, yet not angry at me. And, she still looked as beautiful as she had on the first day I had seen her. She looked annoyed and mad.....

"Bella, what is the matter?" I said walking toward her and holding her in my arms.

"Edward.... they made a movie about us!" She said angrily into my shirt.

"Bella.... Bella, what do you mean they?" I asked her calmly.

"FREAKING SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT!!!" she roared.

Well, I had heard of that place, it had done what a few movies, nothing really really awesome though. I wasn't really a movie type person. So I picked her up still rubbing soothing circles on her back and ran back to the main house. Once I reached it, I searched for Alice's 'voice' sure enough there it was.

_Pink and purple and green and blue!!! These are my favorite colors, how about you!?!?_

I sighed as I entered and set Bella down on the couch carefully. Rose and Jake were on the other couch both playing with Nessie, but the rest of the family was nowhere to be seen.

_I don't know anything, I don't know anything. Hey is this working? I mean Alice told me to think about like the most random stuff and not about Rober- robots.... yeah robots..._

Jake, still abnormally mindless.

_Goodness, Nessie is just so smart! She is like totally almost as pretty as I am.... Oh shoot Edward's listening! Ummm.... Hi Edward.... umm I am totally hot and I love myself because I just do because I'm so beautiful and curvaceous and, and..... BLOND!!!! _**(A/N: I mean no offense to blonds cause well Sara's a blond, I am not a blond, but just go with me here. Rose is thinking what Edward wants to hear.)**

"OKAY! THIS IS JUST STUPID!!" I thundered. What was so damn important!?!? SERIOUSLY!!!

Bella spoke up, "Edward, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are playing us in a movie about our lives...." she said quickly.

"Who. Is. Playing. Me?" I asked slowly.

"Robert Pattinson...." Jake said from his spot on the couch.

"Okay so here's me with my awesome hair and hot self... and then THIS guy with this, this- ABOMINATION on his head!!! And I mean yeah he made People magazines sexiest guys' alive list, but really, I top all of them! This is a known fact!!" I finished. As Alice walked into the room with a smile on her face.

_Edward Edward Edward!!! WE are gonna see the movie!! It comes out today!!! _

"Fine, do what you want." I said coolly.

Alice sounded excited IN her head. Goodness, WHAT was I getting myself into!?

**(A/N: So we hope you love this… This is strictly an Abigail project with Sara editing. Sorry bout not posting on our other story, but between Twilight's premiere and our big religious thing tomorrow… We won't be posting for a few more days. We loved the movie, but Abby had some issues, I think she hit her head… She said the movie was better than the book!!!! So, Read/ Review we hope you love it! Post more in a couple of days.**

**Peace, Love, Twilight,**

**~Sara and Abigail~**


	2. MOVAY TIME

Alice's POV

The Day Twilight came out:

So, I had convinced everyone to go. _More like forced, or tricked into. _I thought deviously in my head, I saw Edward glare at me. I smiled as we stood outside the theater. It was overcast, perfect vampire weather. So there we were, standing in line, in the midst of all these teenage girls. It was a rather commical sight because they were all wearing "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob" shirts. I laughed again. _I have forseen these things Edward, that's right, this is all planned. _I heard him sigh heavily. We walked into the movie theaters to buy our tickets because movietickets was stupid. We had to wait in line to see our own movie. People were kinda staring at Edward, and I knew that they thought he looked like Edward. He grabbed his hood and yanked it over his head. The line started moving forward and we got it. We sat in the back row of the front section, so we could be right in on all the action. Plus, this was where ALL the cool people sit.

The movie began and I sqeaked in anticipation, Jasper sent a wave of calm toward me, and I accepted it grasiously.

The movie began with Kristen Stewart, otherwise known as Bella speaking, it was a preface and I saw a deer and Edward was chasing it. In all his vegitarian style, he tackeled the deer and then it went to Bella. Wow, hunting is wayyyy more fun than they make it seem.

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Bella's POV

movie theater

Okay so I was watching this movie, and here comes this girl. Okay, so when I left Arizona, I did NOT carry a cactus with me, AND I DID NOT SPEAK LIKE THAT!!! Jezz was this movie off or what? So far, horrible.

Then it showed Charlie, now I will agree that me and Charlie were actually quite a little bit closer than they made us seem, I mean really I was not that rude to my dad. Anyways, they pull up to this house that is clearly NOT MINE. And she goes into this room that is NOT MINE!!

Then of course, Jake shows up, which may I remind you, it did not happen in that order at all, but oh well.

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Jake's POV

movie theater

There strolled Taylor Lautner on the screen, all the girls in the movie theater went wild. Someone even yelled, "Take it off!!" I heard the rest of my family laughing hysterically while I blushed severly. I mean this dude looked alot like me. I sunk back in my seat. Whatever my character was about to do wouldn't be good.....

Well, not too bad, just looked friendly. Well, I guess that went better than I thought it would.

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Edward's POV

movie theater

So they really hadn't shown the rest of us yet. I waited in anticipation as "Bella" drove to school in her crappy truck and "Eric" began talking and talking, trying to flirt so I guessed, well it wasn't working. Then I growled lowly as I saw that "Mike" character on the screen, I tightened my gripe on Renesseme. GOSH!! I hated that kid!!! Well, anyway, he tried being 'friendly' when Bella's clumsiness hit him in the head with a volleyball. And then "Jessica" with her fake smile, UGH! I never liked that girl much.

HA!!! The scene I've been waiting for!! Bella was in the lunchroom now.... I saw "Emmett" and "Rose" walking in the lunchroom, followed by cheering from the teenage girls might I add. Followed by "Alice" and "Jasper" which "Angela" was right, the character that played Jasper really did look pained. Then..... Robert Pattinson walked into the lunchroom, being me. Everyone in the theater went wild!! Of course they'd go wild over me! I mean I am ME!!!

(Thoughts of family)

_OMG!!! I look WAY prettier than her!!! - _Rosalie

_HA! Look at my dude!! All awesome looking and whatnot!! _- Emmett

_Hmm, aren't you glad I forced you to come?? - _Alice

_Jeeeeezz damn good portrayal of me. _- Jasper

"I" then sat down at my lunchtable with the rest of the family, looking bored as hell as I looked obviously confused, which annoyed the hell out of me, I mean come on I was wayyy more subtle than that!

Bella walked off to biology…..

So there I was, with my cool self. Once that stupid fan blew her scent in my direction, WOW! I looked really mean! I mean, jeez I wasn't that obvious! I listened to the several thought surrounding me….

_HA! PSH! Eddy doesn't look to comfortable!_

_Aww, my poor boy….._

_Damn, I must smell delicious!_

_OMGizzle! It's EDWARD!!_

_Now he knows how hard it is….._

I agreed with most of them, except for the more confusing ones, like that fourth thought.

Anyways, so the whole time Bella was in Biology, I looked freaking uncomfortable! Like glaring at her and whatnot! But yeah, I still doubt I was that obvious, I mean come on I'm an awesome vampire, GOSH…..!!

So there I was kinda mad at this Catherine Hardwicke and Summit production when……

"OMG!!! It's the CULLENS!!! AND JAKE!!!" said one of the many girls in front of us.

"Holy shit…" said an awe-struck teen.

"Now that isn't proper language young lady!" scuolded Esme.

"PSH! Give me some slack Momma Vamp! I'm a teenager….. HELLO!!"

I quickly zoned into their thoughts…..

_Carlizle in the flesh!!!_

_ALICE is SO much awesome in real life!!!_

_Jake is so hot….._

_Wow, it's pretty damn obvious with their vampire-_

I froze at the word- vampire!

Crap.

Damn.

Shit.

We.

Had.

To.

Leave.

NOW!

"You guys we have to leave, they know…. EVERYTHING!!!" I said at an awesome quick speech. We fled outta there.

"STOP THEM!!"the tall blond demanded.

Then some girl with glasses pulls out a video camera and goes, "It's CARLIZLE! OH! And all the other vampire people!!"

Crap.

Shit.

Dammit.

We left. But I knew this was far from over……

**Ta da! Check out our mega sweet new chapter! Be jealous… BTW, I know there are a lot of references to stuff that didn't happen in every theater, but it happened in ours! Everything except the Cullens showing up happened [damn them]. So enjoy. Ps. I unfortunately do not own Edward or any of the other Twilight characters. If I did, I would be a very happy person.**

**~Peace, Love, Twilight~**

**~Sara & Abigail~**


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